COLORING CONTEST RESULTS: Don't Worry, You're ALL Winners

Just kidding. Technically speaking, you all LOST.

For those of you completely out of the loop, we here at IC announced our Second Annual Coloring Contest last week, and reader response has been nothing short of IMMENSE. After sorting through literally hundreds of entries, our distinguished panel of judges narrowed it down to nine, which is still nine times as many entries as we received for the First Annual Coloring Contest. But we're losing our focus here.
The point is: you all LOST, except for the person who WON (the winning image will be published tomorrow). These are the eight runners-up, failures all, whose pathetic attempts at creativity deserve naught but our mockery and derision.

Thank you all for participating.


Our first runner up is Brother Mike M., who went above and beyond the call of duty with this little gem:

Pure ass-kickery, dude.

Next up is Illogical Bro John W., who turned in this colorful and mesmerizing ode to Discordian philosophy:

Labor intensive!
But that's not all. John W. actually submitted TWO entries, the second of which being the wonderful Kvlt Reagan shown below:

Speaking of Reagan in corpsepaint, IC reader and suspected Juggalette Eva T. sent in this disturbing depiction of Juggalo Reagan as well (my favorite part is the Durstian figure at the bottom right):

Rad.

Also of note is IllCon Bro Eric M.'s interpretation of Zombie Vampire Reagan (remember him?). I like to imagine that Mr. Reagan's rotting corpse is close to this color right about now. Yum.

Returning once again to show us how it's fucking done is motherfucking SMEG, who absolutely CRUSHED the competition in this very contest a year ago. We are all very pleased at his return, and stunned by his vision of Squidbilly Reagan:

WARNING: The next two entries are not very SFW!


But Smeg, being the perv that he is, refused to stop there. Here is his second contribution, a Cannibal Corpse/My Little Pony mashup entitled "Cannibal Pony":

Absolutely brutal. Probably the most grim and epic use of My Little Ponies since this or this or this or this or this. Kudos, Smeg. We hope to hear from you again next year.

Our last submission comes from within our very own staff here a IC. I had to disqualify him due to his proximity to higher management around here, but even so, this entry would have come in last anyway.
That's right, gang, our very own Erik Del Tigre took a break from his busy schedule of railing lines off of teenage Thai prostitutes (male) and listening to early 90's ska-punk to create an image straight from the depths of his own psyche. I warn you again: things are about to get even more GRIM...

You guys want to see what the inside of Del Tigre's head looks like? Yeah? OK. Here you go...

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go pour boiling water into my eyes.

Thanks again to everyone who participated. Remember, the #1 CHAMPION WINNER will be published tomorrow. So tune in for that.