Inspired by many classical composers but mainly by the works of Wendy/Walter Carlos in the early 70's, Isao Tomita adapted many classical pieces into trippy suites for the analog synthesizer, as well as composing original pieces for television and film. On Firebird, he gives the electronic treatment to the works of Stravinsky, Debussy, and Mussorgsky, drenching them in oscillators, farting synth, and delicious Moog-y goodness. If you are a fan of stuff like A Clockwork Orange, outdated science fiction novels, or doing coke in space shuttles, this might be just the album for you. One more thing: In 1984, Tomita performed a concert in Austria in which he live-mixed tracks suspended over an audience of 80,000 people inside of a glass pyramid. So there's that, too.
Tiny Kiss addresses the Mini Kiss vs. Tiny Kiss "controversy" on Tucker Carlson (via Jimmy Kimmel):
Really. I respect their right to play whatever music they want. But two miniature KISS tribute bands is just all kinds of wrong. Couldn't we just pit the two groups against each other in a fight to the death and let the survivors play in one band?
At The Gates has caught a lot of flack over the years for contaminating the death metal world with the "melodic" Gothenburg sound, but I say fuck all that. They never knew that a million second-rate screamo douchebags were going to go nuts with their unique blend of vitriolic shred, much less water it down into the mediocre wankery that bands like The Black Dahlia Murder and Soilwork practice today. Forgive them, O Lord, they knew not what they did. Here's the album that directly preceded the "highly influential" Slaughter of the Soul, 1994's Terminal Spirit Disease. In my opinion, this album is just as good as Slaughter, and probably even a bit MORE dynamic. I saw these guys on their reunion tour last year, and it was EPIC. They kicked my ass. Long live ATG!
Above: Amazing cover art for Zarkorr, created by Charles Band at Full Moon Entertainment in 1996.
Zarkorr The Invader was Full Moon Entertainment's first venture into the "giant monster movie" genre, a significant move considering Full Moon's long history of producing B-grade horror flicks (the trailer for their newest movie release, Evil Bong 2: King Bong, can be seen here). And while Zarkorr is an absolutely TERRIBLE no-budget creature feature, it does retain a couple points of interest that make it worth watching (but not really).
I couldn't find a trailer for Zarkorr on YouTube, but this trailer for Kraa! The Sea Monster (1998 - also made by Full Moon) is pretty much the same thing, only with twice the budget:
I've seen Zarkorr WAY too many times, and I'll tell you why: My son, in the early 2000's (from ages 3-5, approximately), was a complete Godzilla freak, and made me rent just about ANY monster movie we could find -- be it Zarkorr, Gammera, King Kong, Mothra, Pulgasari, or Yongary. So Zarkorr made his fair share of appearances in our living room. And, after awhile, I grew to enjoy this otherwise awful movie.
Zarkorr The Invader is the story of a highly intelligent alien race, who send a 185-foot-tall (seems like an oddly specific number), 300-ton, lazer-shooting monster to "test" the human race. The humans' only hope is Tommy Ward (Rees Pugh), a completely "average" (because the aliens designed him that way, we find out later) Postal worker who must save the Earth from this towering beast. His only ally is Proctor (above, right), a 5-inch-tall hologram also sent by the alien masterminds. Apparently, Full Moon didn't have much money to spend on writing a script or hiring decent actors after blowing it all on the SFX budget, but that's part of the charm. Stone-faced, mid-90's film extras deliver their seemingly-improvised lines with deadpan awesomeness, oblivious to the fact that their presence in the film is 100% superfluous. We are here to see Zarkorr stomp on some shit. And stomp on some shit he does:
The redeeming qualities in this flick are few and far between, but if you like watching dudes in rubber suits step on things, or giant monsters who shoot lazers out of their eyes, or people rocking really awesome mid-90's clothing and saying dumb shit, or poorly-constructed miniatures being blown up, or movies that steal sound effects straight from Jurassic Park due to lack of sound design budget (TRUE), maybe you should check out Zarkorr The Invader. Or maybe not. Depends on how stoned you are.
According to legend, Charles Band shot many of Zarkorr's destruction scenes BEFORE the film had a script (did it?), and ended up stuffing most of them into the end crdits. So the end credits are pretty much the best part of the movie. Luckily, someone on YouTube uploaded them. Check it out, and get a load of the awesome "Zarkorr" theme song while you're at it:
One highly observant YouTube viewer, "gtyme125", commented thusly after viewing the above clip: "if you think about it zarkorr looks like godzilla."
I don't know, gtyme125... I just don't see it.
------------------------------------------------------------ I was highly surprised to find out that Zarkorr The Invader made it to DVD, and is actually available on Netflix.
I know what you're all saying: "Wait a minute, Cobras. What are you trying to pull here? You said Nick Jonas would die on June 26th, and Billy Mays died TWO DAYS later, on the 28th. Obviously, you were incorrect." But hear me out. Let's take a closer look at the numerological symbolism behind each of their names. "Nick Jonas" = 4 letters in his first name, 5 in his second. "Billy Mays" = 5 letters in his first name, 4 in his second. 5 - 4 = 1, 5 -4 = 1. 1 + 1 = 2. TWO DAYS LATER.
Now what happens if we assign numbers to EACH LETTER of their names, corresponding to their respective spots in the alphabet?
BILLY MAYS = B(2)I(9)L(12)L(12)Y(25) M(13)A(1)Y(25)S(20)
2 + 9 + 12 + 12 + 25 = 61. 13 + 1 + 25 + 20 = 59.
NICK JONAS = N(14)I(9)C(3)K(11) J(10)O(15)N(14)A(1)S(20)
Sharing common members David Yow and David William Sims, Scratch Acid and The Jesus Lizard were part of the same evolutionary chain that included bands like The Birthday Party before them and Arab on Radar after. Originating in Austin, Texas, Scratch Acid existed from 1982 to 1987, releasing three albums which were compiled posthumously as The Greatest Gift. After they split up, vocalist Yow and bassist Sims relocated to Chicago and formed The Jesus Lizard in 1989. The Jesus Lizard enjoyed a solid decade of post-rock deviance, releasing a slew of albums titled with four-letter words (Head, Goat, Liar, Down, Shot, Blue, Show). They broke up in 1999 but re-formed last year. They rule. Enjoy.
Without a doubt, 1982's Blade Runner was the coolest "future of the 80's" movie ever made. 27 years after its production, it still maintains a distinctly futuristic feel, diminished only slightly by the passage of time and technological advancement. Epic, classic, masterpiece, blah blah blah... But lesser known than the film itself is the amazing soundtrack by Mr. Evangelos Odysseas Papathanassiou, AKA Vangelis. The music is every bit as "future of the 80's" as the movie, and every bit as timeless. Swirling synthesizers, ambient noise, and a couple tracks featuring the haunting, nasal, and completely alien vocals of Demis Roussos all conspire to create one of the best and most original soundtracks in the history of science fiction. This soundtrack (again, like the film itself) faced all sorts of problems with editing, and surfaced several times over the last few decades in several different forms, both with and without the permission of Vangelis. Many of these versions left out big chunks of incidental music and cues. But this one is the bootleg "Esper Edition", containing every bit of music appearing in the film, as well as some tasty chunks of dialogue and sound effects.
Vangelis was actually blowing minds, musically, as far back as the 60's. Get a 1972 album by his old Satanic hippie band, Aprodite's Child (entitled 666), over on Cosmic Hearse.
The first time I saw Japan's Melt-Banana, at the good old Vista in Eureka back in 1998 or 1999, they absolutely blew my mind. But luckily, I was prepared for them to blow my mind. You see, my good friend Robb (R.I.P.) had dubbed me a tape a few months earlier, and I KNEW I was in for something special. Not so with the rest of the audience. The performance area in The Vista was relatively small (about the size of a large garage), and as soon as Melt-Banana tore into their first song the bewildered crowd completely FLIPPED, flailing about in a mad vortex of chaos and confusion. Melt-Banana FUCKING KILLED IT, ripping through a set of about 30 lighning-fast blasts of high octane noise and throwing the crowd into a near riot. It was one of the best shows I've ever seen. Melt-Banana's sound (especially in the late 90's) is a tough one to categorize. Frenetic, grinding drums and chirpy female vocals both play a large part, but it's the guitar work that really puts it over the top. Sounding like some sort of malfunctioning, insane circus machinery, the axe-work is run through a series of alternating effects, sometimes screeching, sometimes echoing, and sometimes exploding -- but hardly ever sounding like a GUITAR at all. It's fucked up. Scratch or Stitch, in my opinion, was the band's high point. In the years following, Trey Spruance and Mike Patton got ahold of the band, doing "guest spots" on their records and steering them away from their brilliant and unique course. Soon after, Melt-Banana realized their profitablity and began recording poppier and more easily-digestable music. Which is a shame.
Following the show at The Vista, I had a chance to talk with the four polite young freaks that make up Melt-Banana. Gibbering awkwardy about my admiration for their music, it soon became apparent that they didn't understand a word I was saying. The sweaty, incoherent gaijin standing before them was making them nervous, and they quickly signed a glossy 8x10 for me and sent me on my way. Which I still have (and treasure) to this day.
Band: 24-7 SPYZ Style: "Funk/Soul Metal" Location: The Bronx, NY Status: Active Correct Spelling: 24-7 SPIES
Band: SICKSPEED (Members of Stuck Mojo!) Style: "Power/Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Atlanta, Georgia Status: Defunct Correct Spelling: SIX SPEED (?)
Band: FIVE FOOT THICK Style: "Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Spokane, Washington Status: Defunct Correct Spelling: FIVE FEET THICK (More of a grammatical mistake)
Band: INSULT II INJURY Style: "Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Queens, NY Status: Defunct Correct Spelling: INSULT TO INJURY
Band: HATE FX Style: "Experimental Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Fresno, California (HA HA) Status: Active Correct Spelling: HATE EFFECTS
Band: STRIKTNYNE Style: "Groove Thrash" Location: Newark, California Status: Active Correct Spelling: STRYCHNINE
Band: PHUSE. Style: "Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Los Angeles, CA Status: Active Correct Spelling: FUSE (Extra points deducted for unnecessary punctuation)
Band: IKILLYA Style: "Thrash/Groove Metal/Metalcore" Location: NYC Status: Active Correct Spelling: I KILL YOU
Band: VATIKAN Style: "Thrash/Groove Metal" Location: Wellington, New Zealand Status: Active Correct Spelling: VATICAN
Band: PRO:JECT CYBERDEMON Style: "Groove/Post-Thrash" Location: Rhineland, Germany Status: Unknown Correct Spelling: PROJECT CYBERDEMON (No colon necessary -- Hey, NO COLON NECESSARY would be a pretty good name for a "Groove Metal" band too!)
Band: VIALATE Style: "Thrash With Grunge Influences" (???) Location: Kent, UK Status: Changed Name Correct Spelling: VIOLATE
