Tuesday, February 28, 2012

No Visible Scars

As my esteemed colleague, Judge Shredd, mentioned below, We are in the end times. You only have to look at the economic and environmental situations across the globe, the rampant crime and disease rates, mankind has run its course. Mother Nature isn't too happy anymore and Megaupload is gone. We are facing extinction.
During these bleak times you need bleak music to soundtrack those last few heartbeats and breaths escaping you as the world slows down.
No Visible Scars managed to gain my attention with the 1970's/80's Giallo/Exploitation/Porn inspired artwork and imagery, they're love of the timeless C-90 tape,  and the fact quite a few of the digital releases are free. Most Illcon followers should be able to relate to one of those. I decided to give a heads up on a few of the releases worth investigating.

Elders Of The Apocalypse - The Law Of Iron (2011)
Nasty and ragged, thrashy death metal by guys with nasty names such as Plague Bearer and Sadistik Slayer. I guess the term "war metal" suits this best. I can hear elements of Kreator and Sodom in there alongside some  Bestial Warlust black noise and a slew of suitably apocalyptic samples. Awesome cover art included.

Nightbitch - Sex And Magic promo (2010)
This is the one I have been digging the most. Comprising the smooth pipes of that dude from Hour Of 13 with some total NWOBHM riffing crossed with proto-Doom jams. THIS SHIT ROCKS. This was a 3-track promo for the EP of the same name. They don't seem to have much else available but they have connections to a whole host of other bands according to Encyclopedia Metallum.

Poison Tongue - Lick You Sweety (2010)
That cover seem pretty attractive doesn't it? Bit more left field this time. Poison Tongue is Giallo/Exploitation inspired noisescapes. Its not full on harsh noise ( though it gets plenty harsh in places) but more ambient and unsettling due to the schizophrenic changes in volume and pacing. Kind of like those quiet bits in between Goblin freak outs crossed with Beherit's noise tendencies.

There you go gang. They have the usual places online here and here. I'm digging this label a lot recently. You should to.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

You fear tomorrow...

 With Megaupload down and some real 1984 shit going down, it seems that we are in the end times. And my computer is on the fritz. Eventually we're either gotta buy our music or start mailing burned CD's. Fortunately some bands put their shit out for free...
Metal and hardcore have had a long relationship, interbreeding on may occasions (crust, crossover, grind, sludge, powerviolence, metallic hardcore, 90s metalcore, etc.) Each fusion style bring something to the table, combining different aspects of the genres and creating something new.
But few bands have combined both genres as perfectly as Integrity. Utilizing the simplicity and visceral impact of hardcore and fusing it to the darkness of metal, they are the forerunners of metallic hardcore and, along with Ringworm, the inventors of "Holy Terror" style played by bands like Pale Creation, Rot In Hell, Withdrawal, among many others. Consisting of dark, brooding hardcore songs are interspersed with abstract acoustic or noise parts, holy terror is as much of a cultural aesthetic as musical style. With extensive use of dark imagery and symbols, most notably the process cross, also known as the "holy terror symbol". Hell, as long as you spell your Ws as 2 Vs you can be holy terror too. And everybody seems to have a thing for Charles Manson:
In a fuck you to their former label, Victory, Integrity mainman Dwid Hellion has put up their early albums up for free download on the website for his label, aptly named Holy Terror, right HERE.
Of the albums available I would say the best is Those Who Fear Tomorrow. Very hardcore and less abstract then most of their other stuff, though it spreads out near the end. It also has their most famous song: "Micha (Those Who Fear Tomorrow)", "Judgment Day" which was covered by Dying Fetus and "Harder They Fall" which has one of my favorite guitar harmoneez in the intro.

On the more metallic side is Humanity is the Devil. HitD is probably the best starter record for the metalhead, and at 15 minutes of actual music what do you got to loose?

All the other bands up for download are good as well, especially Pale Creation. See yall in prison!

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Desekrator - Metal for Demons (1998)

If you have not heard of Desekrator, then you must! These guys rule! I mean, with an awesome band name like that they are guaranteed to rule, am I not correct?! Desekrator were formed as a side-project in Bergen, Norway in 1996. The group formed mainly for shits-and-giggles apparently, and consisted of none other than Ivar Bjornson and Grutle Kjellson of Enslaved fame, Infernus and Tormentor of Gorgoroth fame, and a few other local Bergen all-star bros. They released a demo and a single but only managed to put out one full length on Hammerheart Records.

So what do they sound like, you ask? I'm not really sure to be honest. This is no fancy metal, not by any means! Ha! I've heard gutter punks off Haight Street in SF produce better tunes than this... OK, well perhaps that is an overstatement. Honestly, they remind me of a black metal version of Cranium in a way, only with a more drunken and less focussed direction, sort of like that one band from that one city... What were they called again??

Hey, there are some similarities! Just sayin'...

Desekrator are listed as "thrash" but they're all over the place really. The closest I can describe them is a combination of Cranium and Gorgoroth, with elements similar to Plaag and Tankard perhaps... Actually, I have no way of describing Desekrator accurately. Perhaps this is due to the fact that I only listen to them when I'm drunk? Hmm...

Anyways, certain tracks are solid and well executed while others are intentionally chaotic if not sloppy (ironically akin to something I vaguely remember recording back when I was 15 years old). With song titles like "Texas Joe", "Take us to the Pub", and "Revenge of the Hellhammer" you can't expect anything more than pure ingenious decadence I suppose.

It's obvious that these guys were doing this for a few laughs. Nothing beyond the seriousness of their more established bands at least. In either case, this is an overlooked album with respect to the Norwegian scene.
It's nice to see some of black metal's elite take a break from their kvlt status and have a little fun. I'm not sure if they had intentions to continue this gig or if this was a one-off thing but if you dig your metal on the less serious-side of things, you're sure to dig this!

The best way to listen to this album is when you find yourself completely hammed and want to piss off your neighbor or roommate. If there was a soundtrack to hell this may very well be it, particularly when your roommate is hammed and cranking it at 2am (try falling asleep to it, it just doesn't work).
Point is, this is a great album to throw on to piss off your lady friend and impress your bros with.

This is metal for drunkards. This is metal for bros.

This is metal for demons.

Buy here and here.

Friday, February 24, 2012


I'll be honest with you guys: I ain't a big fan of John Carpenter's 1976 jam Assault on Precinct 13 (nor its 2005 remake, ugh)--after all, when you put that motherfucker side by side with JC's work in the 80's (The Thing, They Live, Big Trouble In Little China, hell, even second-tier shit like The Fog, Prince of Darkness, and 1994's In The Mouth of Madness) it just doesn't stand up. I mean, hey, what does? Nothing. That's what. But Precinct is still a good movie, to be sure: a study in isolation, paranoia, and xenophobia that plays out like an extended version of the police station raid scene in the original Terminator. It just came from a time when Carpenter was still in the process of perfecting his chops.

Speaking of his chops...

Goddamn this dude has a way of creating atmosphere with a Casio keyboard, a shit drum machine, and about six notes. He performed similar magic with the ultra-basic They Live score, but Precinct takes it a step further. The entire duration of this recording is basically a study on "variations of a theme"--never straying from the same tempo and basic root notes, only occasionally stumbling into dark alleys of either murmuring noise or complete silence. I've been heavily into shit like this lately--moody, repetitive horror/suspense scores, the more Euro the better.

I was stoked to see that WhatFreshHell over at The Living Doorway was giving new-school retro minimalist Moog-horror composer Umberto a spin recently, as I too have been basking in the man's meaty fart-bass and soothing synth as of late. I highly recommend visiting Umberto's Bandcamp forthwith if you're into that kind of thing, although a pioneer and/or innovator he ain't. Dude wears his influences on his sleeve when he isn't outright ripping them off--Goblin, Frizzi, and, of course, ol' Uncle John. Credit where it's due, I guess. Whatever.
Carp did it first. Carp did it best.

Download HERE
John Carpenter website/Last.FM

Today is Friday, February 24th.

Witch means:

a) You are either going to Eli's Mile High Club in Oakland to see Bell Witch, Worm Uoroboobyrobbybobdobbs 'R' Us, Alaric, Sutekh Hexen, and muthafuckin' APOCRYPHON tonight (get there EARLY! We are opening at like 7:30 or some such bullshit!), or:

b) If you are unfortunate enough to live outside the San Francisco Bay Area, you should tune in to FCCFreeRadio.com Studio 1A at 10pm for Episode 24 of IllCon Radio. I won't be there, so it will probably suck. But they have a demonologist or some shit coming on, so maybe it will be cool. I dunno. Call Cory, Erik, and Al at 415.829.2980 and give them some shit. Tell 'em Cobras sent you.



Wednesday, February 22, 2012


Perhaps you prefer your 90's DM to be a little doomy. Perhaps you prefer it to be Dutch in origin, with Cookie Monster vocals delivered via a bad ass bitch named Corinne. Well good ol' Acrostichon has you covered on all fronts, with extra-crunchy riffage and mid-paced carnivorous dinosaur/D-beat stomp to boot. IllCon has visited the realm of Acrostichon at least twice in the past, once for their contribution to the excellent Awakening: Females In Extreme Metal compilation and then again for the much-ballyhooed 'Gorgeous Ladies of Metal' post. About damn time for a post of their own, correct?
Not much fault to be found on Engraved In Black--the leads are tasty, the drum work solid and competent, the riffage dynamic, and vocals of utmost brutality. Conversely, it doesn't break much new ground. But then again it doesn't really need to. It's fucking 90's death metal. From Holland.
What were you expecting?

Download HERE
Purchase HERE


Van Der Graaf - Vital (1978)

What the fuck is the matter with people? One of the best bands of the prog era make one of the heaviest live albums ever and the critics at the time completely shit on it so it remains in obscurity forever. Stupid! Let us not forget that these are the same critics that were telling us how worthless Black Sabbath and Led Zeppelin were all the while touting the genius of The J. Geils Band and Toto. Fucking puke.

Van Der Graaf Generator were difficult to most listeners. They are not "tight" in the way King Crimson or Genesis are known for. They were way more punk and experimental in their approach to "progressive" music of the time. Jazz influenced in theory only, not in the academic way, say, Henry Cow or Gentle Giant were. There are no frolicking elves and faeries in Van Der Graaf music. This is why they rock a thousand times more than their peers.

Vital is the only official live album of the 70s released by the mighty Van Der Graaf (they dropped the Generator by this time) and it is a fucking ripper. Not ripping in the sense of Thin Lizzy - Live and Dangerous per se, but more in the way of Sleep's Holy Mountain or something. Singer/main songwriter/keyboardist Peter Hammill is brilliant at making music that's both beautiful and horrific at once and he honed that skill perfectly within the group of insanely talented musicians in VDGG. This release highlights my favorite aspects of their music. The contrast between Hammill's angelic and demonic vocals, disgustingly distorted thumping bass, intense drumming and David Jackson's sax. Yes sax. Don't be scurred. It works.

This is prog at it's best. It's absolutely madness. Play loud.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012


Both are complete garbage trash shit food but we eat them anyway.

Subway pros:
Cheap as fuck.
That magical bread smell!
Sandwiches are made by "artist" (I think they go to art school).
They are located everywhere.
Their spokesperson, Jared, is a really cool, cute dude.

Shredded lettuce does not live up to its name.
That magical bread smell
Too many sauces, so little time!
Tomatoes taste like fish.

Here is some advice regarding Subway breakfast from Hawaiian resident and "friend of the show" Grady. Heed his warning:

[15:28] grady: btw dont ever get breakfast at subway its disgusting
[15:29] cory: describe it to me
[15:29] grady : ok
[15:30] grady : i got an egg + cheese english muffin
[15:30] grady : they go
[15:30] grady : "do you want egg whites or whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : i go "whole eggs"
[15:30] grady : they reach into the little compartments where they keep all the sandwich toppings
[15:31] cory: right
[15:31] grady : and take out a PRE-COOKED pancake looking cold omlette
[15:31] grady : slices it in half
[15:31] grady : and tosses it in the microwave
[15:32] cory: ugh thats fucked up

Quiznos PROS:
Premium ingredients
MMMM toasty
Ranch dressing on MY sandwich? SIGN ME UP!
Those little guitar playing meme hamsters


We do not have Blimpies and Jimmy John on the West Coast but I am intrigued.

There is a "metal" food truck called Grill Em' All. Lol.


Check out this Arsenio guy have a very bad day with sandwich!

And now we will celebrate great sandwiches in movies.

My #1 is always and forever Gary Busey's meatball sub in Point Break. YEAH!

What is yours?

Friday, February 17, 2012


Apocryphon's new singer

Does anyone still read Illogical Contraption? I mean, I hope so. But my neglect for this, the birthplace of so so many strange and wonderful things, is utterly inexcusable. Truth is, my computer took a dump, and then my other computer took a dump, and then (Odin help me) I got caught up in Twitter (fuck you, I'm on Twitter now, so what?) and Tumblr and some other instant-gratification sites for awhile, and then I played a bunch of shows, and then I lost my mind for a little bit, and then I recuperated. But I'm back now, baby. And I brought you flowers. Can't things just be like they used to? C'mon baby, you know Ike loves you.

I will also gladly blame IllCon Radio for stealing my time, attention, and research skills--the show has gotten way less shitty in the last couple installments, and if you haven't yet, I highly recommend checking out both Episode 21 with Aesop Dekker and Genesis P. Orridge as well Episode 22 with Shane Durgee, amateur cryptozoologist and founding member of Earth Crisis. You should really just subscribe on iTunes, though (and rate us!). I'm pretty sure tonight's guest is Parker Bowman, that insufferable prick from Pool Party Radio and Junk Food Dinner. Also another guy. Or girl. So check that out.

Speaking of being too busy to write anything significant here anymore:


with: WORM UOROBOROS (basically my favorite all-female death metal band)


OLD CROW (No web presence yet, I guess. But they kick ass.) and


We're playing a show with BADR VOGU, PRIZE HOG, and this sick freak at the Hemlock in SF April 29th:


A short Northern California tour with supreme ultimate party bros Hazzard's Cure some time in April. I'll keep you all abreast of further developments, I swear. Here's to new computers!

Sorry again for the long absence, gang. I promise I won't ever, ever neglect you like that again.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

TREVOR JONES - Angel Heart OST (1987)

Mention the name Trevor Jones to people and they will probably shrug their shoulders with indifference. Mention the films Dark Crystal, Labyrinth, Excalibur, Runaway Train or Dark City and they might have heard of a couple of those ( you would hope they have, if anyone ever denies hearing about or seeing one or more of these films, they can't be trusted!). Well Trevor Jones was responsible for the music to all of those.

I could recount Jones's career and what not but you can read all about him on Wikipedia so lets jut skip that and jump to the post, his atmospheric score to Alan Parker's supernatural 1987 flick, Angel Heart.

If you are familiar with the film ( you should be, if not then rectify this personal failure), then you will know about the claustrophobic atmosphere and general creepiness it exudes. Trevor Jones managed to capture this mood perfectly with a score that feels like a constantly shifting musical suite rather than separate tracks. Starting as it does with the mournful saxophone and creeping synths before moving into the downtrodden blues and thumping heartbeat of the second half, punctuated throughout with sampled dialogue detailing Mickey Rourke's doomed search. Its been my "drive to work" album for the past few weeks, my co-workers hate me for it.

The film is streaming online and its easy enough to find so get on that as well. Rourke and De Niro on fine form.

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Infernäl Mäjesty - None Shall Defy The Fact That I'm Unholier Than Thou

I could have sworn Cobras had done a review of Infernal
Majesty's None Shall Defy a while back but I could not locate it for the life of me. Maybe it's been buried deep within IllCon's catacombs? Maybe it was taken off mysteriously by those mysterious aliens?

Perhaps Bigfoot decided to come in and pummel it completely from record? Maybe it was sequestered by the pesky folks up there in D.C. in a similar manner to what happened at Megaupload? Or maybe Alex Jones is at it again and elves came, worked their magic, and stole it?

Whatever the case, I was originally going to feature Infernal Majesty's second album, Unholier Than Thou, but why not feature both albums?! Saweet! Thanks dude!! (You know you will be thanking me later!)

You know what I like about this band? They did what Slayer could not. They continued producing sick ass tunes. They did not get watered down by the music industry. They didn't grow beyond their music and act like they invented the genre or anything of the sort. And on top of that, they did not become egotistical pussies (talk about undisputed attitude!). Don't get me wrong, I highly respect Slayer's first 5 albums. In fact, I love Slayer! I still consider both Show No Mercy and Reign In Blood as favorites of mine. I even have a soft spot for Seasons... and Divine Intervention was a solid album to boot! However, the Slayer of today is like a decrepit version of the Slayer of yesterday. They simply are trying too hard now and their music has suffered. But I'm not here to talk about Slayer, I'm here to talk about one of Canada's finest!

OK, perhaps a little more on Slayer for a moment... Some consider Infernal Majesty a Slayer rip-off. OK, that's true to a point. Slayer were highly influential. Many bands followed their recipe. In the beginning of Infernal Majesty's career there is an obvious Slayer influence and their tone and approach were parallel to Slayer's at times but they went beyond that by adding an element of (if I dare say) black metal, technical thrash, and later death metal to the mix (rumor had it Corpsegrinder from Cannibal Corpse was doing live vocals for them recently). With that said, Infernal Majesty are therefore not a Slayer rip-off. They continue to shred, they slay, and pummel the listener into oblivion... Something Slayer seemingly has struggled to do on recent albums.

The band itself originated from Canada in 1986, so that should be a testament to how awesome they are. I mean Canada has thus far produced some of the best music, including metal, period. Bands such as Gorguts, Slaughter, Exciter, Sacrifice, Kataklysm, Malicious Intent, Razor, Revenge, and Blasphemy all came out from the boreal forest and tundra that makes up much of our neighbor to the north. Maybe there is something to be said about the cold, windswept climate up there that produces solid, no bullshit music? Who knows.

Anyways, None Shall Defy happens to be in my top-twenty, possibly even top-ten albums of all time. Unholier Than Thou is also a great album that is highly underrated but it does have its' flaws. The track, "Roman Song", is probably their strongest on the album as it shows Infernal Majesty at their best, however there is something about None Shall Defy that simply has not been topped, by both their contemporaries and the band itself.

So rather than me blabbering on for days about how great these releases are, I suggest you check them out for yourself!

Buy Here or Here

How much more 'metal' can you get?! Jeesh.